OF A SHARK ATTACK!!
For those of us who watched Jaws when we were very young, this is a slight problem. I caught my first look at Jaws when we were still living in Dallas, so I was probably five. I couldn't even take a bath for a few weeks without fearing that Jaws would break up through the porcelain and drag me down into the murky depths that was our hot water tank. I don't know how I ever went into the ocean after that, but I have always loved the water, so I guess I dealt with the possibility of being eaten by a shark. They are no doubt interesting creature, and I soon became very interested in finding out more about them.
So, I am prepared to share my knowledge with you... here it is...
HOW TO AVOID A SHARK ATTACK:
1. Don't go swimming at night. Reference first scene of Jaws 1.
2. Don't swim too far from shore. My dad actually petted a shark by accidence when he swam a few too many yards out into the ocean.
3. Don't swim after it's been raining heavily; fresh water fish and some sharks will move into places they normally wouldn't.
4. Low tide sometimes gets sharks stuck in bays, mouths of rivers, etc, so don't frequent those places during low tide.
5. If there's a dead animal nearby, don't go over to it. There might be a shark in the vicinity.
6. Avoid diving from boats. You might just dive onto a SHARK.
7. Apparently a paddling dog spells out shark bait. Reference Jaws 1 just before yellow raft child goes into the water.
8. Don't frequent a spot where shark attacks have taken place. Since sharks frequent the same places, they'll probably pay a visit again.
9. Swim in a group, but always bring someone you really don't like with you, so if a shark visits the group, you can all distract it with Unfortunate Una so you all can escape (I'm kidding, I'm kidding...)
10. Don't feed the sharks. There's a 200% chance that it won't work out in your favor.
11. Swim on sunny days. If it's cloudy, the shark might think that you are prey.
12. Don't look like a seal. Surfers are plagued by this problem so be extra careful if you are surfing.
13. If you see a shark, leave.
14. Don't swim in murky waters.
15. Did that tan not work out too well? Apparently, uneven tans resemble skin color contrasts on fish. So don't swim.
16. Stay alert.
17. Don't swim if you're bleeding.
18. Bright clothing apparently looks like 'fish bling'. So wear ugly greys, blacks, whites, and browns if you want to swim. :( Or wing it.
So these are ways of avoiding a shark attack. Some of them are kind of old, so I don't know if they are completely true. The thing is, sharks are very mysterious creatures, and urban myths about them live on because not many people know much about them. I only found out recently that they were warm blooded.
So, perhaps the moral of the story, is sometimes, you just got to get past the fear and the precautions that verge on madness, and just have fun. Obviously places with lots of seals will have great whites. Apparently, sharks and humans swim in close proximity in ocean water a lot of times, and hardly ever do the two species interact in these situations.
In the end, having fun is the most important thing.
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